Older Adults and Counselling: Why Don’t More People Seek Support Later in Life?

In my private practice, I meet people from all walks of life — teenagers navigating school pressures, adults juggling work and family, people in mid‑life reflecting on identity and change. But one group I rarely see is older adults. In fact, across my training and work in a community service charity, I can count on one hand the number of clients over 60 who came to therapy — and most didn’t stay long.

I’ve sat with that observation for a while. Not in a judgemental way, but in a genuinely curious one. Why is this? Are older adults coping differently? Are there generational attitudes at play? Or are there barriers in the system that make therapy feel less accessible or less relevant?

As I began looking into this, I realised my experience isn’t unusual — and the reasons are far more complex than any stereotype about “resilience” or “stiff upper lips.”

Seeking support later in life can be a meaningful act of care — it’s never too late to be heard.

A Wider Pattern: Who Comes to Therapy in the UK?

Across the UK, therapy is becoming increasingly normalised. More than a third of adults (35%) have accessed counselling at some point in their lives, rising to a quarter of 16–25‑year‑olds.[1]

Yet this shift isn’t reflected among older adults. In NHS Talking Therapies, people aged 65+ make up just 5.1% of referrals — despite high rates of anxiety and low mood reported in this age group.[2]

So the question isn’t “Why don’t older people need therapy?” but rather “Why aren’t they accessing it?”

Generational Attitudes: How Older Adults Learned to Cope

Many older adults grew up in a world where emotional struggles were handled privately. Therapy wasn’t widely available, and talking openly about mental health wasn’t encouraged. That doesn’t mean older adults don’t experience distress — it means they may have learned different ways of managing it.

Common generational influences include:

• Self‑reliance as a cultural value — “Just get on with it” was often the norm.

• Therapy as a last resort — Historically seen as something for crisis, not everyday wellbeing.

• Fear of burdening others — A belief that seeking help might inconvenience family or professionals.

• Uncertainty about what therapy involves — Some older adults report not knowing what therapy actually offers.[2]

These aren’t barriers created by individuals — they’re shaped by the social messages of the time.

Are Older Adults “More Resilient”?

It’s easy to assume that older adults simply cope better. Many have lived through significant life events and developed strong internal resources over time. But resilience doesn’t mean the absence of emotional pain.

Research shows:

• Around 75% of people aged 65+ have experienced significant anxiety or low mood.[2]

• Loneliness is a major risk factor for depression in older adults.

• Older adults respond just as well to therapy as younger adults — sometimes better.

So the issue isn’t necessarily resilience. It’s possibly more about access, invitation, and understanding.

Practical Barriers: When Getting to Therapy Isn’t Simple

There are challenges that can show up in both private practice and public services, and they often go unnoticed because they’re so ordinary. A few themes stand out:

• Digital communication isn’t everyone’s first language — Many therapists (myself included) rely on email, online booking systems, video conferencing, or text reminders. For someone who prefers phone calls or paper communication, this can feel unfamiliar or even off‑putting. It’s not about ability — it’s about comfort and preference.

• Finding a therapist can feel overwhelming — Younger adults often grow up with mental health content on social media, recommendations from friends, or familiarity with therapy language. For older adults, the process of searching online, comparing profiles, or understanding different modalities can feel like stepping into a new world.

• Transport, mobility and energy levels matter — Even when someone wants support, getting to a therapy room can be tiring or complicated. Weather, mobility, chronic health conditions, or unreliable transport can make sessions feel like a big commitment.

• Cost and value perceptions differ across generations — Private therapy can feel like a luxury, especially for people who grew up in a time when emotional support wasn’t something you paid for. Even when someone can afford it, they may question whether they’re “worth” the investment.

• Therapy can feel like unfamiliar territory — If someone has never been to therapy before, the idea of opening up to a stranger can feel daunting. For older adults who were taught to keep personal matters private, this can be a significant emotional hurdle.

None of these barriers reflect a lack of willingness or interest. They’re simply the practical realities of life — and they remind me that accessibility isn’t just about availability; it’s about feeling welcomed, informed, and supported from the very first step.

Is the Modern World Harder to Cope With?

Younger adults are navigating a world that is faster, more connected, and more pressured than previous generations experienced at the same age. Social media, academic pressure, rising living costs, and job insecurity all contribute to higher levels of anxiety.

This doesn’t mean older adults have had it easier — far from it. But it does mean younger people may be more accustomed to seeking support, talking openly about mental health, and viewing therapy as a normal part of life.

The contrast can make it appear as though older adults are less affected by emotional challenges, when in reality they may simply express or manage distress differently.

Older Adults and Counselling: What Might Encourage Engagement?

From both research and personal experience, a few things seem to make a real difference:

• Clear, human communication — Letters, identifiable phone numbers, and simple explanations of what therapy involves.

• Flexible formats — In‑person or telephone sessions for those who prefer not to use digital platforms.

• Normalising therapy for all ages — Messaging that emphasises therapy as a resource for anyone, at any stage of life.

• Curiosity over assumption — Many older adults engage well once they feel welcomed and informed.

Therapy is not age‑dependent. It’s connection‑dependent.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’re an older adult considering counselling, you’re not “too old,” and you’re not alone. Therapy can offer space to reflect, process life changes, explore identity, or simply talk with someone who will listen without judgement.

Support is for everyone — and it’s never too late to begin.

References:

1. British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Public Perceptions Survey 2025.

2. British Psychological Society (BPS). Older people face barriers to Talking Therapies (2024).